"My Salvation Testimony"

It's 1:53 AM. I got church in the morn, and I have to wake up early. However, I just finished opening my gifts and reflecting on the day and my entire life. After thinking about how far the Lord has taken me, I also remember what I was before He saved me. The following is "My Salvation Testimony." I sent this to TMS as a part of my application, but I hope this blesses you in some way.

My Salvation Testimony

My family raised me in a Christian household. It seemed as though everything around me was “Christian.” I was accustomed to attending church every single week. Missing church was like missing breakfast. Something just didn’t feel right if we skipped out on church. I grew up in a large Filipino Presbyterian church, and my earliest memories are composed of sleeping in the pews waiting impatiently for the service to be over. I wanted the service to end so that I could eat all the punch and cookies they gave us. I also just wanted to run around outside and play with my friends. Looking back at it all, church was simply a routine for me, just like school. Even at school, Christian influences were all around me. Prior to attending college, I had never been given a public education. Private school was all I knew. I was alienated from anything that was outside my “Christian” box.

I was very involved in the church life. Friday night bible studies, Saturday get-togethers, Sunday worship, it was all a weekly routine for me. Youth group was just another group set friends to me. They were like my Christian friends at school; however, they were at my church. I helped in children’s ministry, I listened at bible studies, I played in the praise band, and I went on countless retreats. There wasn’t anything I didn’t do. I was your typical church-raised teenager. But there was one big problem: I wasn't saved.

In elementary school, I had no sense of salvation security. The concepts of hell and losing my salvation scared me to death. After I did something bad, I was overwhelmingly afraid of going to hell. This fear led me to “ask Jesus Christ into my heart” every single night before I went to bed, all because I was scared of hell. I said to myself, “Just ask Christ into your heart every day. That’ll make sure He’s there.” I wanted assurance that I was going to heaven because I was afraid of the consequences of my sin. Yet, it was only a fear of punishment that drove me to a false repentance.

As high school came around, my condition did not get any better. Emotions drove my conduct. It seems that my affections were geared toward video games and grabbing a girlfriend. My joy came directly from those unstable facets of life. If those things weren’t constant, (which they weren’t) then my joy was not constant. Even when college arrived, my affections did not change. Furthermore, college encouraged me to add another carnal affection in the form of choosing a career. I just wanted to graduate and make money so that I could have a nice prosperous life without any trouble at all. This led me to an all-time spiritual low. My friends had all gone to college and I lost many others in the transition. No one could relate to me and my difficulties. I was your typical “misunderstood” young person who was battling depression. I had never felt so alone in my entire life.

I was still attending church during my first year of college. During that year, my church started a college ministry. It was during those studies where I heard the Gospel in its entirety. My life prior to that was a life of legalism. It was about sticking to set of “do’s and don’ts” that would make me acceptable to God. I didn’t understand what true belief, true security, and true repentance was until I heard the complete Gospel of Christ. When I finally comprehended the saving work of Christ, God’s loving mercy upon my life drove me to call Him Lord in every aspect of my life. It wasn't works righteousness anymore; it was living by the grace of God. I had a new perspective on holiness that I never had before, and it only drove me to serve and obey as best as I could.

From that point, I couldn’t stop getting enough of God’s Word. I had an insatiable appetite for the scriptures. I’ve never had a desire for the Word. Yet, I found myself constantly buried in the bible, even though I had no clue what I was reading most of the time. I just wanted to know more. I knew I had to hear from the Lord, and I knew the bible was where I needed to go. Thankfully, an older brother in Christ approached me about discipleship. I had never heard of discipleship prior to this. Despite the unfamiliarity, I established a discipleship relationship with him and I was connected to other Godly men from whom I learned much. I wanted imitate them because of their drive to live Christ-like lives. They cared for me, they corrected me, and they lived out everything they preached to me. I had never been loved and ministered like this in my entire life.

These men knew that I needed to be better equipped for life and ministry, so they plugged me into the Los Angeles Bible Training School for that very purpose. This school changed my life. I had listened to sermons from John Macarthur and John Piper, but I had never been consistently exposed to sound doctrine. These men were preaching straight from the scriptures, and it was as if I had never heard sermons preached from bible. Their communication was clear and concise. The men had such a passion for the Lord, and you could see it in how they preached and how they cared for their students. Not only was the preaching a blessing, but learning theology, doctrine, and hermeneutics was an amazing experience. I finally understood how to read and interpret God’s word for myself, and better yet, apply it to my life. During this time, the Lord grew me exponentially. I wasn’t perfect, but by His grace, I was making progress. God’s faithfulness to me was something I couldn’t comprehend. His love for me was unbelievable. My former lusts weren’t pleasing to me anymore. I didn’t treasure the things of my past anymore. I finally had a security in Christ that was foreign to me in my childhood. I now treasured Christ above all the temporary things in my life. Looking back to my old ways, it puzzles me as to why I was pursuing all that rubbish. Aside from that stubbornness, pride, and ignorance, God was gracious enough to save such a poor sinner as myself. Through His Holy Spirit, He has given me a zeal and passion for ministry like never before. Ever since he delivered me out of the domain darkness, I have found my greatest joy in living a holy life, serving Him in all things, and loving His people through the ministry.