Difficult but Fun

Okay, it's the last semester, and there is something strange about it. I'll be completely honest with you--I am really enjoying school. Yes, yes, the classes are a little heavy (due to massive load of 18 units), but I am managing quite well. (Of course, only by the Grace of God). You probably can't tell from this blog, but I feel like I'm becoming a better writer. The spelling is still terrible, but the writing is improving. I'm finding it much easier to place my thoughts on paper and I can actually convey my arguments with clarity. It's not that muddy anymore! (Well, sometimes).

School is fun. Aside from all the liberal plugs and soap box rants, I am enjoying school. I am even enjoying the professors that I have this semester. This is, definitely, not the same attitude from my first semester as an English major. During that first semester, I was surrounded by so much relativism and post-modernism that I felt like shooting myself. I couldn't stand it. Reading between the lines was an understatement. People were pulling meaning and interpretation out of their butts--I just couldn't believe it!

So what's the difference now? Why am I enjoying school NOW? The world sure hasn't changed. If anything, it has only gotten worse. Something must have changed, and I think I'd like to think that something was me.

I believe that the frustration I had in my first semester was due to a lack of maturity. I think my low tolerance for liberalism (and my fiery youthfulness) made me someone who was miserable in every English class I sat in. I couldn't stand the things that they said, and it was frustrating me so much. But looking back, I do believe that my misery was born from an inability to answer the DIFFICULT questions. Isn't that what typically makes us shy away from proclaiming the Gospel? Were afraid that people will ask us questions. It's the questions that we dread; all because we don't want to look like stupid people without the answer. And that was me. I was feeling stupid and unequipped for the battle I was fighting. I was fighting a two-headed evil monster, and I was armed with a spork. (Talk about not being equipped). That's why I wasn't satisfied. My professors and classmates were posing questions that I just could not answer.

The teachers and students have not changed. Everyone is still asking the same questions, even harder ones. But I am so thankful that the Lord has changed me. He didn't have to, but He did. I don't mean to sound arrogant with this, but I'm not afraid of the hard questions anymore. If anything, I welcome them with open arms. I know that being pushed helps me to grow even stronger with respect to salvation. I grow because I know where to find my answers. God has given me everything I need pertaining to life and Godliness in His Word, and it has been sufficient for my every need. (And by the way, I'm not worshiping the bible; I'm worshiping the God of the bible). Obviously, I cannot answer every question that is posed to me, that would be foolish to claim; however, life is so much clearer to me now that i view it through the lens of the Holy Writ. I'm not afraid of the difficult questions anymore because I don't believe out of ignorance anymore. I understand why I believe what I believe. This isn't some random religion that my parents imposed on me, but this is a faith that the God of this universe has so freely given to me, an undeserving wretched soul. It's okay to asks "Why?" That's how you formulate convictions.

You need strong convictions if your in college. If you don't have 'em, you'll get rocked. Now, I enjoy sitting through lectures and discussions. I guess it's because I've learned to test and filter every single piece of information that passes through my brain before accepting it. Because when your in college, it's the subtle things that you have to watch out for. (Those quick jokes and jabs could really do a number you). It feels good to keep up with your prof, understand his argument, and even challenge him when he sounds like he's mistaken.

I think confidence lies in who the Lord and Savior is. If I ever had confidence in myself, then I would fail every single time (because I got nuttin). This excitement I have doesn't come from anything that I have done; it comes from the work that Christ has done. I don't challenge the secular realm just for kicks, but I do it as a bridge to the Gospel. Hopefully you guys will be encouraged to study and understand the faith that yours because that is your witness to this unbelieving world.

Let's show them that Grace has arrived, and His name is Jesus.


-Micah


Matt. 5:13-16

The light isn't us.
The light is Christ.
Were just called to reflect it.